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It's not a "throughout the entire game" thing — you literally have to sit there and mash a single button more times than the AD era has years.

If you're wondering why , it's because that's the year Command and Conquer 3 is set in. According to True Achievements, it should take roughly 15 minutes of repeatedly pressing A to earn this achievement, even though you can probably think of countless more interesting ways to spend 15 minutes.

The best way to earn this one is if a friend owes you a favor, and you make them press A for you while you just eat pizza.

Many songs in Guitar Hero are super-challenging, which is why the game blessed us with Easy Mode. When you're playing on Easy, it's actually close-to-impossible to fail a song.

Maybe you won't ace it, but flunking it means you either didn't try at all, or you truly are the worst Guitar Hero player of all time.

Whoever designed the game's achievements appears to have erred towards the latter, with the " Long Road Ahead " trophy awarded to anyone who fails a song on Easy Mode.

As if the virtual crowd booing and jeering you wasn't enough, now you get actual proof — that other people can see — that you never should've picked up a video game guitar.

Chances seem good a real guitar would just make you explode. Being a zombie game, you'd forgive Dead Rising 2: Off The Record if its achievements lacked in goofy fun.

Zombies are serious, brain-eating business, after all. But with the " Adult Content " achievement, you're getting a hefty dose of humor in between zombie deaths.

But let's just say it's not the kind of humor you'd want to show your family, or gloat about to your buddies. To earn this trophy, enter a store called the Uranus Zone — let's say it doesn't have that name just because they sell outer space memorabilia.

Go to the bar and you'll find four curiously-shaped objects the game calls " alien probes. Take a good close-up picture of all four and you'll unlock "Adult Content.

It could be worse, though. There could be an achievement for using them. You might think a game in the Dead or Alive series — a franchise famed more for its overtly animated bouncing ladies than anything else — would have an embarrassing achievement based around bosoms.

On the contrary, DoA 4 prefers to focus its booby-prize trophies on you being an absolutely awful player. You must go online, fight 20 matches, and lose every last one of them.

It's hard to emphasize just how difficult that is. Most everyone, given 20 chances to win a match in a fighting game, will emerge victorious at least once.

To go 0-for, you likely would need to stand still, and have 20 different opponents — many of whom don't know you from any other anonymous player — figure out what you're doing and play along.

And once that happens, you get the honor of owning a trophy whose title doesn't even bother to mask the almost impressive anti-feat you just pulled off.

Lollipop Chainsaw is about as family-friendly as you'd expect a game starring a scantily-clad cheerleader wielding a chainsaw would be.

But for the most part it's a straight-ahead game, with straight-ahead achievements. That is, except for the oddly-named " I Swear!

I Did It By Mistake! This is actually the first trophy you can unlock, meaning if you have it, you purchased the game with one thing in mind.

That's because to earn "I Swear," you need to position the camera below your cheerleader character, and then look up and take a gander at what lies underneath.

You basically turn the camera into a shoe mirror, and we're not going to show that footage here. Find it yourself if you must, or you can bypass this "achievement" altogether and appreciate the game for what it's really about: a cartoonish overabundance of violence, blood, and gore.

When you've reached a certain level of expertise in your game, it becomes difficult to lose to anyone at a lower level than you.

It's almost impossible to lose to someone almost two dozen levels weaker than you, but if you can manage just that in Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle-earth II , the game's " Try a Tutorial " achievement will immortalize your dubious achievement for all to see.

When Middle-earth was active, EA maintained an online leaderboard that ranked all their players though according to True Achievements, EA does not update this board anymore.

The higher you were ranked, the better a player you were—in theory anyway. If somebody managed to lose a match to someone at least 20 spaces lower than them, they earned "Try a Tutorial," which was basically the game telling the player they don't deserve to be ranked as high as they were.

On the other hand, the player who just beat someone ranked 20 or more spaces above them also earned an achievement, called " The Hobbit and the Troll.

It'd almost be a disappointment if a Family Guy video game didn't have any embarrassing achievements for your weird collecting pleasure.

But the " Pervert " trophy is double-sketchy, both for how you get it and what you're rewarded with afterwards. To be labelled a digital perv, enter the hotel in the "No Cheese, Please" level and wander the rooms until you find Quagmire.

He's chained to a bed wearing a diaper and baby bonnet, y'know, like Quagmire does. Once you find him, as much as you may want to leave ASAP, stay in the room for 30 seconds.

Doing so will net you the "Pervert" achievement. And since you just spent time staring at a middle-aged man dressed like a baby, you've pretty much earned it.

But the game's not done humiliating you. Like every other trophy in gaming, "Pervert" comes with an avatar. In this case, it's Herbert, the creepy old man with a cringey crush on Chris Griffin.

You now get to stare at his mug each time you check your trophies, which might be enough to make you use your muscly throwing arms to chuck your system in the trash, rather than risk anybody seeing what you've done.

Fable 2 isn't a comedy game, but one of the achievements, Menace to Society , seems like it was designed for uneasy laughs, especially considering what happens at the end.

To become a menace, you need to earn or buy an ability called " Vulgar Thrust ," which is exactly what you'd imagine. Once you have it, remove all your clothes and start running around a busy area.

Run up to whomever you like and select the Vulgar Thrust ability to, well, vulgarly thrust at them. Some may not react, others might react positively and give you a reward, but some won't like it at all.

If you thrust at someone who hates it and is offended by you, they'll report you to the authorities. At that point, you'll be punished exactly how you'd expect a fantasy video game to punish a player for multiple acts of public sexual harassment: they fine you ten gold pieces.

Once you pay that wallet-busting penalty, you can add "Menace to Society" to your trophy collection. You will then spend the rest of your life not mentioning that trophy to anyone, least of all your priest.

Secret Service is a game about — get this — the Secret Service. There's a coup against the president and it's your job, as an elite agent, to put a stop to it.

Or, if you're really into terrible video game achievements, you can aid the coup and completely throw the country off-balance.

At the end of the final stage, the new president, who was the vice-president until his boss died from gunshot wounds earlier in the day, is being held hostage in an airplane.

It's your job to kill the guy holding him hostage — in other words, you must be a bad enough dude to rescue the president.

Or, you could kill him. Yep, this game lets you shoot the President of the United States, the one guy in the game you most definitely aren't supposed to shoot.

That earns you "The Exact Opposite of your Job" achievement, which, presumably, sets up an off-camera ending where the violent coup works and the entire US government is overthrown.

Nice going, Agent Wilkes Booth. The aquatic carnivores colloquially known as Slaughterfish have appeared in every Elder Scrolls game since The Elder Scrolls 2: Daggerfall , but it wasn't until their deadly iteration in Elder Scrolls Online in that they seemingly lived up to their name.

These sharp-toothed, sea-dwelling marauders have become so deadly, in fact, that they've earned a special place amongst ESO 's more trollish achievements.

If the sight of your avatar getting viciously mauled by seafood isn't enough to scar you, this five-point cheevo will serve as proper inspiration to never leave shallow waters without adequate protection again.

But, once the notifications have cleared and the dopamine from earning those meager five points fades, all you're left with is a candid and arguably embarrassing memento of your brief and belittling time at sea.

Nothing says "adventure" like being eaten alive by one of the lowest creatures on the food chain. Even with their low scoring, GamePro offered some of the industry's kinder words , indicating that "the core gameplay is great — the counters are brilliant and the energy stays high — yet it isn't enough to be chosen as more than a casual distraction.

The zero-point " Loser " achievement requires you to lose five consecutive Ranked Matches. It's that simple: just lose five online ranked matches in a row.

And playing Chosen One you'll be reminded of this every couple of minutes. Only time — and your gamercard — will tell. Depending on who you ask, simply playing The Simpsons Game from EA Redwood Shores is a potential embarrassment, let alone earning its least noble of achievements.

The AV Club didn't pull any punches in their critical assessment : "It's blunt, dumb, ridiculous, and almost never funny. Never mind that this action platformer is buggy, dull, and handles like wet cardboard, or that the faces look like they were drawn on an Etch-A-Sketch.

A weak game could pass, if only it had some good laughs. It turns out, some of those cheap laughs are on us. The achievement affectionately known as " Pwnd " will earn you zero gamerscore points.

Its description reads, "Dude, need help? You've died, like, 10 times The name of this achievement from 's Superman Returns doesn't mince words; and its description adds prideful insult to playful injury.

The only way to have earned "Not That Super" in this licensed release from Electronic Arts is if you've "entered a cheat code in a desperate plea for help.

And — although you can earn other achievements with cheat codes active — the zero-point "Not That Super" is guaranteed to stain your gamercard until Xbox Live sunsets into antiquity.

In the words of Mark Twain , "It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

As far as achievements and trophies go, " Quitter! Quitting a sports game or any competitive multiplayer, for that matter before match completion was — and remains — a shortcut to negative feedback.

Negligence of the Xbox Live reputation system still haunts some players to this day. If you're not careful, you'll earn the embarrassing label of "Avoid Me", whereupon "to prevent further abuse, [you'll] most likely be matched with other low-reputation players.

Just remember: while you're out hunting one of the most annoying cheevos in Xbox history, Microsoft's "goal is to match you with other gamers you'll enjoy, and create the best gaming community online.

Despite its relatively short play time, Asura's Wrath from CyberConnect2 and Capcom was a critical hit when it reached consoles worldwide in IGN called the non-traditional, cinematic beat-em-up "an attempt at a new kind of interactive entertainment, one much closer to living, breathing anime than traditional action game.

The " View of the Valley " achievement, for instance, feels like it's straight from the more playful if sexually perverse panels of Kentaro Miura's Berserk.

This ribald point achievement is obtained after you "give in to your male instincts" during the hot spring scene in Episode The PlayStation equivalent is more forthcoming in its description , indicating that you simply need to "continue to stare at the hot spring attendant's assets" to unlock the bawdy bronze trophy.

But, then again, as Capcom's Kazuhiro Tsuchiya told Complex : "The most satisfying thing is to hear when a user says that [his] game was fun.

Just make sure no one else is looking! When the long-awaited title was finally released in , IGN suggested that "Duke is one of the elder heroes of gaming, and could say whatever he wanted with legitimacy if there was a first-class shooter experience backing him up," but ultimately described it as "a muddled, hypocritical exercise in irritation.

You can locate the poo in question during the game's first chapter, "Duke Lives. A quick investigation to your right will reveal the presence of a healthy turd in one of the locker room toilets.

Just press "X" to pick it up, prepare to toss, and voila! You've netted another ten gamerscore points and a lasting tribute to your vulgar washroom escapades.

And hey — if claiming a trophy for hurling fecal matter at the wall is your idea of a good time, by all means, hurl away.

But make no mistake: your turd burgling antics are gonna earn you a stinky reputation. Didja Ever Think by Sunshinecackle reviews Zed asks Vikke if he ever thought he could love someone in a diaper.

Vikke gives him an interesting response. Mainly between two certain Punk and Rock n Rolling Zombies. Salvation by Sunshinecackle There was no salvation in the destruction of San Romero, but from it Swan may have found the true meaning of the word.

And now, a month after the zombie holocaust of San Romero, Juliet must put the pieces of his complex puzzle together on her own, before history repeats itself.

It's date night at the Starling house. Lollipop Chainsaw: What if? I'm not the bad guy by TheXMan99 reviews Coming home sometimes is not always a good thing, not when your brother was responsible for a massacre ten years ago.

Now that John has returned what will he find? Will he have help? An OC fic. She's got a major problem-an early mid-life crisis.

Swan's got some sweet words up his sleeve, though But when Juliet wakes up in an apocalyptic hellhole and finds Swan missing, what's a girl to do?

Is it real? Who's behind all this? One thing's for sure, this is going to be anything but a sweet dream to deal with Now, she lives on O' Bannon farm with both alive and zombified farm animals.

But was there someone out there who wanted to help and bond with her? I do not own any of the Lollipop Chainsaw Characters.

Rosalind's Ray by xXSlasherXx reviews She can be a pest at times, but she can have her sweet moments as well.

Like when she's trying to comfort a friend who's been hurt.

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